Trick or Treat
Mother with teens and all the woo is me thoughts I encounter - mine and my childrens!Friday, February 22, 2008
GRIEF - A WISE OLD LADY ONCE TOLD ME: . . .
RE: my dad and my pain.
Body:
Ashlie –
I have read and reread this bulletin so many times; I think I have it memorized. I wrote out answers to every one of your numbered question, but they are my answers not yours. I know that what you are going through is called grief, so I will try to enlighten you on the grief that your dad may have gone through the past few years – through my version of our family side of his grief and from that you may be able to see how he may have chosen to cope:
1987 - My sister Barbara died in an accident, July 15, 1987, while riding on the back of a motorcycle with her husband Bill. They had four children all under the age of 17. Erin the youngest was 4 almost five. I just made myself cry to remember how happy and sad at the same time Barbara was to know that her baby was going to start kindergarten the coming school year. This story is never ending – SO – I will go back to your dad and his part of the story: Billie lived off and on with Barbara and Bill. Bill was basically the only father Billie ever knew. Bill recovered from the accident and went on to remarry – BUT – as you know Bill also died a few years back.
1996 – My father, your great grandfather, William Pearl Short died November 21, 1996. He was 76. He apparently died of a body infection after he had to have a leg amputated as the result of years of going through kidney dialysis. Your grandparents, Betty and Bill, played a big part in the life of your dad since your grandmother Rose, my sister, was a young single mother still sowing her wild oats. He basically spent most of his younger years at grandma and grandpas.
1999 – My big sister, Rosella Marion died right outside the hospital that just the day before she had taken her mother to. I could tell you my own version, but you know and feel this story in your own heart and mind. You probably saw and felt how you dad dealt with this session of his grief.
2002 – My brother, Billie's big uncle Louie died from heart problems after years of self-abuse. In the end, Louie left more people who loved him more than he loved himself. Your dad was one of those people who loved Louie very much.
October 20, 2007– My first-born nephew, your dad, dies so young in a bizarre hunting accident. I do not know the whole story, nor do I feel the need to know. The only solace I take in this is he died enjoying nature with family and friends
January 29, 2008 – My mother, Betty Lou Short dies at 82. She lived a long and somewhat happy life. In the end, she died very sad and lonely. She had lost not only her husband of 54 years, but also 4 children and 3 grandchildren. When Christmas Day came and went and no one cared enough to stop by, she just seemed to give up. You, yourself know how your dad always had to stop by grandmas on Christmas
Try and get through this.
Here is a website I found that may help - one of linked groups - I think it's called grief.net seemed interesting. You may have to copy and paste the website
http://mentalhealth.samhsa.gov/publications/allpubs/KEN-01-0104/default.asp
Take Care of Yourself - Now here I go getting religious on you - The only quote from the bible that has helped me through some tough times: "This too shall pass!"
Trixie
MY RESPONSE TO: A GRIEFING TEENAGER
I have soooo many questions?!?!
1. Why him?
2.Why me and my family?
3.Why sooo young?
4.Why is life sooo hard after the loss of a death?
6.Why did he have to die the way he did?
7.Why could I not say bye?
8.Where was he going?, How did it happen?, Will I ever get to talk to him again?, Why won't he come talk to me?, and Why did I have to be sooooooo young???
9. Why do people say they know your pain when they have no idea???
10. Why do people think there life is so hard when all that is hard is drama?
11. Why did we have to fight so much?
WELL FOR EVERYONE, DON'T SAY YOUR LIFE IS HARD UNLESS YOU HAVE LOST A PARENT AT 15 OR YOUNGER!
It sucks, and I wish I could take that back!
I will always love my dad with all my heart but I just need to remeber that he is in a better place!
I never relized how hard it is without a parent, so don't ever say u wish ur mom or dad was dead...because my dad is gone...FOREVER. & I wish he wasent.=(
Friday, February 01, 2008
Your Mother Is Always With You - RIP - Bettie Lue Short
Your mother is always with you...
She's the whisper of the leaves
as you walk down the street.
She's the smell of bleach in
your freshly laundered socks.
She's the cool hand on your
brow when you're not well.
Your mother lives inside
your laughter. She's crystallized
in every tear drop...
She's the place you came from,
your first home.. She's the map you
follow with every step that you take.
She's your first love and your first heart
break....and nothing on earth can separate you.
Not time, Not space...
Not even death....
will ever separate you
from your mother....
You carry her inside of you....
- Author Unknown.
And Grandma's Too
"While we honor all our mothers
with words of love and praise.
While we tell about their goodness
and their kind and loving ways.
We should also think of Grandma,
she's a mother too, you see....
For she mothered my dear mother
as my mother mothers me."
- Unknown
RIP - Bettie Lue Short: http://www.legacy.com/SaltLakeTribune/Obituaries.asp?Page=LifeStory&PersonID=102342625
Monday, December 10, 2007
QUESTIONS - ALWAYS QUESTIONS
HELLO
AFTER BILLY'S FUNERAL I GAVE MY EMAIL ADDRESS TO SHARON AND SHE GAVE IT TO KRISTINA AND I HAVE BEEN TALKING TO KRISTINA, IT ANSWERED A LOT OF QUESTIONS ABOUT WHY THEY ALL DISSAPEARED 25 YEARS AGO AND WHY MY DAD AND MOM NEVER HUNG OUT WITH LOUIE AFTER THAT. BUT I WOULD FIND IT INTERESTING TO TALK TO SHARON MORE ABOUT WHY SHE NEVER CAME TO MOM OR DADS FUNERAL, I ASSUME SHE DIDN'T WANT TO SEE LOUIE, BUT DO YOU HAVE AN EMAIL FOR HER. IF NOT I COULD ASK KRISTINA, BUT I GOT THE IMPRESSION THAT TALKING TO ME STIRRED UP BAD MEMORIES FOR HER.
THANKS
KIM
EXCUSES - I MEAN - ANSWERS
Sharon lives in Mesa, AZ - works for Chase Banking and she does have an email at work - (Don't know it) - No computer at home.
DRUGS - SELLING - USING - (SAME GOES FOR ALCOHOL - AS WELL AS ALL THOSE OTHER VICES US HUMANS CRAVE) - HAVE NO PLACE WHEN YOU ARE IN CHARGE OF RAISING CHILDREN !!!!!!!!
Joke: I gave up all most of that shit and my children - are still people - putting themselves and Biff and I through HELL ( - OR - *LIFE* ).
It's true time and only time can and does heal all wounds:
Louie was Sharon's first and only love - While they were married - He cheated on her - Beat on her - The list goes on . . . She never remarried because even after all that their relationship woes - In the back of her mind she always saw herself - Getting back with him - Growing old with him - It wasn't until a year after Louie died - and - I finally got in touch with her after searching for her on the internet off and on for a year - That her whole fantasy of Forgive and Forget finally hit her - Too much time had passed - and - Still all the wounds had not healed. Sharon and I and Kristina have been in close contact since then. A few years back, I took Grandma on a road trip through Spokane where we all visited for the first time in only God knows how many years. Sharon was here last summer and she took Louie's ashes home with her. While she was here she went to the city cemetary and sat and talked with your mother for quite some time. And she spent an evening with Billie at the bowling alley. You do remember that he lived with Louie and Sharon in San Diego, don't you? All I can guess about missed funerals - is not enough time had passed.
Blood is thicker than water: It took time for your mother - and father - to forgive Louie - (We Shorts - always question everything - and yes we rationalize(sp) - too much - in our family favor) - but they did eventually - and did spend time with him especially while he was with Rena when they lived on 9th West - Don't you remember going down there - Drums, guitars - I have pictures - of you there.
The first time Sharon and Louie split up - As a single mother Sharon got herself in real deep - Using and selling drugs - and - She takes a whole lot of blame upon herself for getting Louie -deeper- into the drugs and such - especially while in San Diego - She also blames herself for her childrens alcohol and drug trials. From what I understand - She went cold turkey - on drugs - just one day - said no more - She doesn't even smoke cigarettes anymore - and she was a smokestacker !!!!!!!
We all choose our own paths - scary part is - *When*, where, why - how - and what was our motive - In choosing this PATH - this TIME -
Louie left love and scars on his path - BUT - When all is said and done - He left people that loved him more than he loved himself. Supposedly we are living to LOVE AND BE LOVED - I heard that somewhere - maybe - it was a Beatles song - who knows?
Beverly lives in Denver, Stephanie - (who was born same year as Kristy) - is a dentist and lives in Idaho.
Sheila lives in Penn., Stormie lives in Alaska - Sonny lives in Texas.
Rena lives in West Valley . . .
Here is a weird tidbit about life: Little Louie - was here last summer (long story - drunk - homeless - long hair) - Billie saw him on a freeway offramp with a sign - and they chatted - You answer this one: Why in this big ass world would those two run into eachother like that - unless . . . (My guess - they had some goodbyes to say, eh?) Billie also spent a lot of time at Lou and Rena's while Little Lou lived with them.
Just thought I would fill you in on my humble opinion of this particular course of events - Here I sit - a middle child of ten children - Left taking care of my mother by myself - I never got no loving - I was in the middle - I am so pissed at myself because I am can't tell my siblings that they are all total *______ ers - and sad but true - They will only find out how much they need their mother when she is gone !
I know I should have warned you the SHORT VERSION - IS ALWAYS LONG !!!!!!!!!!!! My humble advice to you is: LIVE LONG - FORGIVE NOW - (Forget - yeah right) - TIME PASSES FAST !!!!!!!
Sunday, November 25, 2007
BARRIE . . .
I guess their relationship is okay. We had invited her to Thanksgiving - but - Kyle decided he was bored, Thanksgiving eve - climbed out his bedroom window - and got himself into trouble - damn teenagers - he is still in youth detention - goes to court on Wednesday - could be bad - my weekend has not been good !!!!! She spent the day with a gal friend and family.
I do not know about her clothing situation - (I am a thrift store shopper - I buy and sell on ebay - everybody needs a hobby - I bought her the cutest pair of pants, but Kyle wouldn't show her because he knew they wouldn't fit and he didn't want to hurt her feelings) - she does have a wishlist on her myspace saying she fits oldnavy maternity XS - I think it says - I was thinking about buying a couple of pairs - and leaving them at the Y anonymously - and maybe a small U of U maternity shirt. What exactly is her financial situation - do her parents pay to have her in the home - OR - . . .
I wanted to ask you a very personal psycholgical(sp) question - what is the mind set of a young person who is pregnant ( and in Barrie's case - attending high school ) - knowing that you are going to have to let that child go. Kyle did not know that Barrie was pregnant when he first met her - and - I often wonder how he feels mentally - other than the fact that he does care for her as much as a 16 year old male can - what his mind set on the situation is.
I know blah, blah, blah - please - do not be offended by anything in this note - this is coming from the bottom of my heart - I have not had a good Thanksgiving - and with my baby boy in trouble - I am hurting - and I wonder how the rest of humanity actually feels about their life!!!!!!!!!!!
There I finally made myself cry - I needed that! -;0( - Trixie - not a trade name - now let's laugh - Halloween is my birthday -
My kid's favorite YO momma joke: YO momma so ugly - they moved Halloween to her birthday!
BIOLOGICAL MOTHER . . . ANSWER
i was 20 when i was pregnant knowing that i couldn't affor to raise her without welfare assistance and i didn't want to do that to a child. i can't imagine what she is going through. i hope kyle doesn't start thiniing he'd be a good father. They are both too young for that! i was glad to hear that Barrie was giving the baby up for adoption. Even though it is my biological grandchild - i want to see her go to college - she's such an intelligent yougn lady.
Sorry to hear about your son escaping lkike that! i am scared to think about what my son will get up to at that age.
i don't think her parents are paying for her to stay there as she's on Wic and foodstamps. her dad did give her his credit card info to get herself some maternity clothes. her parents are jewish and her mom was being rather harsh when the pregnancy first came up and Barrie refused to abort.
Well, it's late and i need to get sleep for colelge classes tomorrow!
hope the rest of the week is better for you and that you get good news in court!
Thursday, March 22, 2007
Woe is Me - AND - You Too!
That new benz - looks alright !
Trouble I see is I don't have much trust in computer chips - If you're driving along and the chip goes out - I think - oh shit - fuck - hell - damn- I don't know what to think - I'm sure it has a built in rumble pack tho, eh?
How's retirement treating you? Here I am 55 + and actually think I am ready to start some kind of career ! Go figure - If I knew I was gonna live this long - I think I would have stayed single and partied more - If that's possible ! Are you getting those emails and pix from Sky ? What a fucker - excuse me, but what a fucker - is all I have to say !!!!!!!!!!!!!
My life is I guess what I deserve and I guess just what I've asked for - Who the hell knows - I really don't give it much thought. Light Bulb - Maybe that's WHY? My mother as you know - lives across the street - That's a hell of it's own ! She is 81 - Has lost tons of mental function - Can't hear - (Doesn't want a hearing aid) - I think she can (when she wants) - You end up not talking - because - You have to yell - Which as you know when you raise your voice your heart rate etc goes up and you end up fighting or wanting to hide - Doesn't cook (which is a good thing) - Dosen't even try - Which is actually - What I would do after cooking her life away for 10 kids, eh? It's fun - enough said - I am sure you get the picture and are laughing your head off - DAMN You!!!!!!!!!!!!
Then there is my oldest - Murray - Who is 22 now and has Schizophrenia - I have always been one of those people who doesn't believe in mental illness - BUT - I am here to tell you - This shit is real - He is not as bad as you think when you hear the word: SCHizophrenia - BUT - It's not a great life - When a once outgoing charming beautiful child that your bore becomes the total opposite - It's not fun!!!!!!!!!!!!
Biff had or is still having a bout with pneumonia this past couple of months - Lost weigh - muscle strength - AND - The marriage is already and like all marriages with children - or not - is and always has been on shaky ground - I guess any man who has the nerve to marry the likes of me - deserves just what I am able to dish out - What a bitch I am and . . . always will be, eh?
There is some good news - Heather - now 20 - bought her own new (to her - 2005 - Chevy Caviler(sp) - Paid cash! And the youngest - Kyle now 16 - starting part time at Wendy's today - Isn't doing his homework - SO - I thought a dose of the real world just might kick start his guest for knowledge - I think the money will win out - Don't you?
How is your life? Your Dad - Brad - And - Of course Danny - Jill - and your other brother - His name slips my mind - And yes my mind is slipping - slowly - I think - BUT - My mother has proved - It can and will slip alot more !!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Let's keep in touch - I enjoy the jokes, but I enjoy hearing about you and your woes - or not - more! I miss having you in the city where I could drop in once in awhile!
Thursday, November 09, 2006
The Hip Bone Connected to the Leg Bone
Good Luck with your hip ball troubles!
Hopefully you will be past most of the pain by the time you receive this!
Seems like the ideal plan - 2 signs - Almost like tossing a coin - That's LIFE, eh?
As for my mother - She is actually doing pretty well - (REALLY)- She seems to thrive on chaos!
Right now - Kelly is home - (Got out November 7 - Has to do a drug program and mental health therapy)
Hold the phone - Rose's boy: Randy is there - (Needed a place to stay - for a couple of weeks - Has been there couple + months)
Hold the phone: Mike and his wife Sherri and their grandson, Christopher are there !
(Got evicted for their home - Supposedly trying to buy a house - Another two week story - They've been
there since October 7 !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!)
It is chaotic - But with Sherri there to take care of the house
and fixing dinner for mom at night - I am actually getting somewhat of a break.
THE END
On Fri, 3 Nov 2006 05:05:09 -0800
Katherine Norris
Hi there ! Yep , I'm going back into the hospital . this time to get the ball on the hip fixed seems it has been In & out so many times ,{yep3} that there is nothing to hold it any more so This Monday oh, approx- 3 P.M I shall get a new Ball or the Dr shall fix the old one And then We can proceed with the therapy and be on our way been
trying to decided which way to go either rent the house in Okla. or else sell it I, guess I'll have the realtor put 2 signs up one of each, see which goes first . Not to much of news around here the leaves are falling & the trees are so bare a shame to as to me they are so pretty full , Cliff, got 3 shots(in one on his left arm yesterday to make it feel better till he can go in & have a new rotary put in, gosh, it is nice to be able to have new parts Bi/onic body s . ha ha so what new on that end ? where Kelly, now Our Ricky is still in the Pen don't know for how long But big Rick is over seeing his Boys 3 of them they are some thing else, l is little Rick all over again Well I seems I have 11 or so jokes on this thing so ta ta for tody tell your Mom I said hi Love you all Kate
Sunday, September 10, 2006
Vard - My question to you - Laurie or Peggy - Do you want whatever info I have aquired to further the quest to the name: MCGUIRE (?)
From: trixiebiff.mcguire@comcast.net
[Add to Address Book]
To: Jason McGuire
Subject: Re: McGuire Family History
Date: Sunday, September 10, 2006 11:23:54 PM [View Source]
I truly wish I had tons of information to give to you - but - the fact that I am
only a McGuire (?) by marriage - When the info was or is not easy to come by - I
have to admit that I backed off!
What info I do have came through needles in haystacks: I started my quest back
in '95 - Before the big ancestry internet craze really got going - SO - The info
I pulled teeth to get is now readily available- Probably because I haunted LDS
Family Search enough times - That they uploaded what I went up to Hotel Utah to
get!
Awhile back I had a trial membership to ancestry.com - I uploaded whatever
census I could get my hands on - I have 1910 - 1920 with Claude - also have his
World War II registration card - I screen shot the pages
- They are in .jpg's (on the another computer) - I will send you whatever I have
if you want. Let me know!
I set up a small geocities website quite a few years back - Have always meant to
add more - Good Intentions, eh?
http://geocities.com/biff2trix1/
On the front page - The story that I am about to tell you is told there!
I got this story from Kay (Aunt) a few years back! She knew that her father had
been married before he married your great grandmother - Rosa Belle Fuelling - I
found through census info that he was married
twice -Here's -I had to guess about - Lou McGuire and Mary Edmisson - could be
JL McGuire and Mary Edmundson - According to Kay - She understood - Claude's
mother had died in child birth and he was raised by his maternal grandparents.
Here's Kay's question to me - Now I pose this to you - Was Claude even a McGuire
- OR - Did he adopt that name when he ran away to come WEST! (No joke - She had
her doubts - Story ends there!)
LUV TO U & URS CYBERWISE =;0) -Trixie
-------------- Original message ----------------------
From: Jason McGuire
> Hello fellow McGuire's,
>
> My name is Jason McGuire. I am the son of Kevin McGuire, who is the son
> of Eugene McGuire who is Larry McGuire's brother.
>
> I am interested in learning more about he the McGuire family history and
> was wondering what information you may have that could help me put
> together some of the puzzle pieces. Anything that you can share would
> be great.
>
> Thank you,
> Jason McGuire
> jasonmcguire@comcast.net
>
>
;0)-LUV2U&YOURS-CYBERWISE-TRIX
