Trick or Treat
Mother with teens and all the woo is me thoughts I encounter - mine and my childrens!Friday, February 22, 2008
GRIEF - A WISE OLD LADY ONCE TOLD ME: . . .
RE: my dad and my pain.
Body:
Ashlie –
I have read and reread this bulletin so many times; I think I have it memorized. I wrote out answers to every one of your numbered question, but they are my answers not yours. I know that what you are going through is called grief, so I will try to enlighten you on the grief that your dad may have gone through the past few years – through my version of our family side of his grief and from that you may be able to see how he may have chosen to cope:
1987 - My sister Barbara died in an accident, July 15, 1987, while riding on the back of a motorcycle with her husband Bill. They had four children all under the age of 17. Erin the youngest was 4 almost five. I just made myself cry to remember how happy and sad at the same time Barbara was to know that her baby was going to start kindergarten the coming school year. This story is never ending – SO – I will go back to your dad and his part of the story: Billie lived off and on with Barbara and Bill. Bill was basically the only father Billie ever knew. Bill recovered from the accident and went on to remarry – BUT – as you know Bill also died a few years back.
1996 – My father, your great grandfather, William Pearl Short died November 21, 1996. He was 76. He apparently died of a body infection after he had to have a leg amputated as the result of years of going through kidney dialysis. Your grandparents, Betty and Bill, played a big part in the life of your dad since your grandmother Rose, my sister, was a young single mother still sowing her wild oats. He basically spent most of his younger years at grandma and grandpas.
1999 – My big sister, Rosella Marion died right outside the hospital that just the day before she had taken her mother to. I could tell you my own version, but you know and feel this story in your own heart and mind. You probably saw and felt how you dad dealt with this session of his grief.
2002 – My brother, Billie's big uncle Louie died from heart problems after years of self-abuse. In the end, Louie left more people who loved him more than he loved himself. Your dad was one of those people who loved Louie very much.
October 20, 2007– My first-born nephew, your dad, dies so young in a bizarre hunting accident. I do not know the whole story, nor do I feel the need to know. The only solace I take in this is he died enjoying nature with family and friends
January 29, 2008 – My mother, Betty Lou Short dies at 82. She lived a long and somewhat happy life. In the end, she died very sad and lonely. She had lost not only her husband of 54 years, but also 4 children and 3 grandchildren. When Christmas Day came and went and no one cared enough to stop by, she just seemed to give up. You, yourself know how your dad always had to stop by grandmas on Christmas
Try and get through this.
Here is a website I found that may help - one of linked groups - I think it's called grief.net seemed interesting. You may have to copy and paste the website
http://mentalhealth.samhsa.gov/publications/allpubs/KEN-01-0104/default.asp
Take Care of Yourself - Now here I go getting religious on you - The only quote from the bible that has helped me through some tough times: "This too shall pass!"
Trixie
MY RESPONSE TO: A GRIEFING TEENAGER
I have soooo many questions?!?!
1. Why him?
2.Why me and my family?
3.Why sooo young?
4.Why is life sooo hard after the loss of a death?
6.Why did he have to die the way he did?
7.Why could I not say bye?
8.Where was he going?, How did it happen?, Will I ever get to talk to him again?, Why won't he come talk to me?, and Why did I have to be sooooooo young???
9. Why do people say they know your pain when they have no idea???
10. Why do people think there life is so hard when all that is hard is drama?
11. Why did we have to fight so much?
WELL FOR EVERYONE, DON'T SAY YOUR LIFE IS HARD UNLESS YOU HAVE LOST A PARENT AT 15 OR YOUNGER!
It sucks, and I wish I could take that back!
I will always love my dad with all my heart but I just need to remeber that he is in a better place!
I never relized how hard it is without a parent, so don't ever say u wish ur mom or dad was dead...because my dad is gone...FOREVER. & I wish he wasent.=(
